Doesn’t it feel exhilarating to drive fast on an open road with the wind in your hair and feeling free? When I was younger, I would drive for hours from Ohio to Pennsylvania to visit my favorite aunt. There were stretches of nearly empty road, and the road was freshly paved so I could go faster. I *might* have gone a bit over the speed limit.
However, there were times in the year when the weather had caused potholes or damage to the road. I had to be much more careful while driving. I couldn’t go as fast. If it was wintertime, the road might be slippery, and I would have to slow down. That’s certainly not as much fun.
My aunt was anxious to see me arrive at her house safely. If I was late, she’d worry that something terrible had happened. She wasn’t happy until we were hugging on her front porch.
Same thing for your life…something happens. An unexpected situation pops up that becomes a priority. Suddenly, it takes your attention away from the normal routine. Having to divide your attention and change the priority means you have to slow down to make room for it. As a one-off situation, that can feel irritating or annoying. When more than one situation occurs, it can feel overwhelming. You may be asking yourself, “How can I manage it all?”
You’ve got a lot on your shoulders – with the day-to-day routine, it can feel like a lot just to get yourself up and going each day, have a productive day with your work, and take care of your family and your beloved pets. Routine feels good because it is comfortable, and we can get a lot done. Things feel smooth and more manageable.
Life can feel intense from time to time.
There are times in life when the road gets slippery. The car has to slow down to stay in control. That starts not to feel so good. Then something unexpected happens, and it feels like there’s a massive pothole you’ve hit on the road of life. That doesn’t feel good at all.
This is what one of my clients experienced. Things were going well in her life, business, and family. But all of a sudden, she started to notice things happening out of the norm. First, her business started to slow down. Then a major appliance broke unexpectedly. Next, there was a small fire in the house (yikes). Finally, and quite sadly, her beloved pet died.
Had these events taken place gradually, on their own each could seem manageable along with the everyday routine. But for this client, it all happened within a few months. She was upset, confused, and wasn’t sure what to do. The cascade of “bad luck” made her anxious and fearful about what awful thing was coming next.
When things like this happen back to back, one after another–whether if it’s happening over a period of months without a breather, or it’s all happening at once, and it hasn’t not happened before–it can feel like an avalanche of bad sh*t. That doesn’t feel good at all.
What does this have to do with my story of driving fast on the road? Life is like driving a car on the road. You want to go fast so that you can get what you want–to get there and get there quickly!
You will come to a tipping point where you feel you cannot take it anymore and want to wave the white flag in surrender.
How do you get out from under that?
The concrete things that happen in life lead you to wonder what’s going on or if there’s something wrong. You might start to ask yourself if these are coincidences or if there is something more happening than appears on the surface.
Recognizing that all this may be connected, and accepting that this is highly unusual, is the first step.
When I asked my client about her sense of what was happening, she said, “I have no idea what’s going on – it’s like one thing after another and another, and I have no idea when it will stop!”
She was done feeling stuck – feeling like everything was out of control. For her, it was time to get a fresh perspective.
When you get to that point, you might feel a sense of futility – of resignation. Actually, that’s a good thing. Resignation is an empowering place to begin. You have to start where you are to get a fresh perspective. If you aren’t sure how to do this, here’s a simple process so you can begin:
- Get into acceptance that what you are doing isn’t working. A wise man once said, “If I always do what I’ve always done, I’ll always get what I got before.”
- Ask for help. Perhaps someone else has had a similar experience and can help you see things differently, having been through it before.
- Listen. Really listen and be willing to consider a different point of view.
- Adjust your expectations. Big problems don’t get fixed with magic fairy dust. It takes time.
- Now that you have access to a new perspective, check in with your heart. Does this new perspective feel like it clicks? Does the new point of view on your situation show you something you didn’t see before?
- With the new perspective, try something different. See if you get the result you want.
It’s helpful to know that when several difficult events happen in a row, this isn’t personal. It feels like a single event- meaning, a bunch of things that are intended to bother you.
But the fresh perspective helps you see each event as separate, possibly needing a particular solution and care, and it just takes time….
You can do things to dig out from feeling like everything is out of control.
And this is exactly what I did when I was in the thick of a messy situation that felt out of control. I sat on my couch and wondered, “What’s going on here?” It couldn’t be normal. It certainly didn’t feel good. So I asked for help. I had someone come into my home and help me get a fresh perspective on how to help me and my life.
This was the beginning of my Feng Shui journey. My experience with Feng Shui is that it is never one thing that gets you back in your car and on a smoothly paved road. Start where you are and as you make changes, things will start to stabilize again.
Life is just more satisfying when we reach our goals in a quick and efficient manner.
With this perspective, when something happens that distracts you or becomes an obstacle to getting where you want to go, you will realize that it doesn’t have to be like that, and you can reach out for help.
My Dad used to say, “Life is tough all over.” Doubly so when you are in a series of tricky situations. If you can take some time, create a little space, and be open to a fresh perspective, before you know it this brief period of slowing down your car on the road of life and making some minor adjustments will be in the rearview mirror rather than facing you down. You can look at the open road ahead. You’ll be able to see that smoother road and enjoy the ride again. And that feels good!
P.S. – If you feel like this, You don’t have to go at it alone. Having someone give you a fresh perspective can assist you in seeing a way out. Feng Shui is an excellent resource for getting a deeper look. PM me for a consultation.
“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”
― Abraham Hicks.